Silly Signs

Website by Andy Preece

This page is all about silly signs. You might see some of these whilst out cycling. You have been warned!

You can't comply with both signs! On the left there is a "Mandatory left turn ahead" sign, on the right there is a "Mandatory right turn ahead" sign. It is impossible to do both, so one or other sign will be disregarded by each passing vehicle.
Here a housing developer has built a new scheme and then chosen the colour of the signs. "Ooh, those blue ones look nice!" Thus there is a minimum speed limit of 30 mph. Don't go slow in this housing estate!
Is it a No Through Road or not? You've heard of glass ceilings, well something similar may apply here. If you're vehicle is heavy enough you can get through to the other end of this road!
Here it is a case of one way to the dead end. There's no way back in this street! The road of no return!
Can I enter? Just what are these signs trying to say? It is legal for cyclists to enter or not? And if so, which side of the line should they go on? In any case the cycle lane is blocked by a parked van! And who thought up cobbled cycle lanes anyway?
This lane is very narrow. So narrow that anything parked in the lane would block the full width of the lane. But the waiting restrictions are different on each side, even though it would be impossible to park on one side without simultaneously being parked on the other side too! Don't park on the wrong side!
Belt up! If some daft motorist has set out not wearing their seltbelt that is their own daft fault. But surely it is reckless and irresponsible to suggest that they fasten their seatbelt whilst driving. Since it is illegal to stop on a clearway (which this road is) then is it not safer to let them carry on until there is a safe and legal place to stop before belting up? If they crash before then, well it is just too bad!
Talking of variable message signs, have a look at this - a sign saying how full or otherwise some car parks are. This is just typical of how the motoring lobby is getting things all their own way. Imagine if there were variable message signs indicating the availability of cycle parking!

This sign also does not conform to British signing standards in that the right arrow is on the left-hand side, contrary to the instructions in the Traffic Signs Manual.
How much pandering to motorists can they get away with?
No, no, no, and NO! Here, someone is obviously in a bad mood! "No Ball Games, Roller Skating, Mountain Biking, Skate Boarding. All Games Strictly Prohibited." What, even board games? Riding a BMX appears to be all right, though.
Here, only pedestrians are banned. But there is a footway! If the footway is not for pedestrians, then who is allowed to use it? Very silly! Do not walk on the footway!
No pedestrian crossings allowed! Even more ridiculous is this ban on pedestrian crossings. I really did not expect to come across a sign prohibiting pedestrian crossings. What next?

But wait a minute: someone must have ordered this from a signmaker, and the signmaker would most probably have had a catalogue of signs to order from for something that should have been a standard sign. Since we don't have a specific sign prohibiting people coming along and marking out their own pedestrian crossings (this would fall under "Interference with road markings" in the Highways Act in any case), then this is either a bespoke order designed by the customer, or the signmaker has made a total mess of the order and the customer hasn't noticed!
This should also cause some confusion. The traffic signal is displaying both red and green at the same time! What is the meaning of this? Should I Stop or should I Go?!?
Where's the telephone? Here is a totally useless sign. The sign tells people that there is information on the whereabouts of a public telephone on a poster, but does not say where that poster might be. Why not just say where the telephone is?
No comment on this one! (It's near a school. Surprise, surprise...) Ooh err, missus!

Will there be other signs to follow? Watch this space...

Website by Andy Preece